This blog began a few years ago during a period where I was depressed, bored at an internship that was becoming increasingly repetitive and unfulfilling and I felt like I needed my own space to just put down my thoughts (of course, it wasn’t a private log, it was, as comedian Mike Birbiglia would say, a secret public journal.)
Anyways, I stopped doing that or any other type of blogging for a good year-and-a-half. I was happy, in a relationship and was writing so much both in my job and online, I burned myself out.
“He looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, ’cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn’t learn a thing.” – Frank, Little Miss Sunshine
In my life, much like anyone else’s, I suppose, I’m more inspired by the trying times rather than the bright, happy ones. I say that not in a sadist way, but rather that I’m usually too busy taking in the good times than feeling the pull to write about it. But anyways, this first real post is just to establish where I’m at in life and it basically has to do with two things: Pop culture and females.
“Don’t you love it when people in school are like, ‘I’m a bad test taker.’ You mean you’re stupid. Oh, you struggle with that part where we find out what you know? I can totally relate see, because I’m a brilliant painter, minus my god awful brushstrokes. Oh, how the masterpiece is crystal up here but once paint hits canvas I develop Parkinson’s.” – Daniel Tosh
I don’t want to write about my job too much on here (in fact, this may be the only time I will.) I understand an employee or prospective employer might read this and I’m not a smack talker, I like my job and the people I work with everyday. Pertaining to my life, a job for entertainment reporter for the paper came up. Encouraged by co-workers, I applied.
A day later, I’m in a room with the section editor and my boss. It was time to sell myself. When asked why I want this, I tried to explain how pop culture is a huge part of my life. Except, I’m awful with words when it comes to phrasing my feelings and it came out like a jumble. After the interview, and much thought, I rephrased my feelings in my boss’s office. Several days later, I was told I didn’t get the job.
“My current girlfriend is awesome: she’s smart, she’s funny, she’s beautiful. She has a great job — she works as a fictional reference in my comedy act.” – Mike Black
Similar to a rough job interview, I’ve gone on a few dates. At age 26, this is honestly the first time I’ve actually done the whole dating thing. Prior to that, it was always happenstance that I met women – be it work, friends, someone I met that one time. This is just pure dumb matchmaking.
One thing I’ve discovered, as charming as I thought I would be on a date, I’m just as awkward as I was prior to saying “Hello.” The first one didn’t go well. I knew it wouldn’t work and nuked it in the worst possible way. The second was good – sweet girl, good talk, not sure if it will go anywhere. The third went great and actually was enough to warrant a sequel. Much like The Godfather 2, it was just as good, maybe even better than the first. But enter my Sofia C oppola to ruin it…
I got friend zone’d, super quick too. I was in a bad place since the news came about 24 hours after I was told I wasn’t getting the entertainment job. I had been in the place so many times before, I didn’t want to visit it again. So I set fire to it. Like The Format’s Nate Ruess said, it was again all about starting out, starting over.
“Sometimes, you need to find out for yourself. Sometimes, you need to be told.” – The Streets
So it continues. Just like the work interview, you reflect on what you did wrong, what can be improved, what you’re looking for and the characteristics of other dates that you can and can’t live with in the long run. Don’t take too much to heart and maybe make a few friends.
So that is currently how I’m living. Good to be back.
